The Mask
by Cassidy Alice
Summary: The mask protected her. She had worn it for so long, she thought nothing could break it. But it had been cracking since the moment she had met him.


**The Mask**

_I'm the guardian. I am the last defense for  
My weakened heart that still wants you  
I won't let love do me in again  
I can't just run to the light of a fire and jump in  
Risk a poison kiss just to have my thirst unquenched again  
Let love do me in_

~ Delta Goodrem, The Guardian

She was eight years old when she fashioned that mask. She fashioned it from grief and pain, from hurt and misery. She fashioned it to protect herself, after her eight year old eyes had been tainted with her mother's death. With her brother off playing warrior, the household duties fell to her, since her grandmother was old. So her mask became her friend. She wore it so that her father, her brother, and her grandmother couldn't see how devastated she was, how much her mother's death affected her. She wore it because it made her feel invisible. It made her feel like no one could see her feelings and how hurt she had been. She had worn that mask for so long, and she had always thought that nothing could break it. But it had been cracking since the moment she had met him.

At first, she never took the mask off. Whenever anyone watched her, Katara always seemed composed. It was a façade that took her months to perfect, but when she had perfected it, she was able to convey the impression that she was okay, despite everything that had happened. She was twelve when she refashioned that mask. When her father and the other men of the tribe left to fight in the war, she modified her mask. She saw the pain that their departure caused, how the young mothers cried for days and the children became somber and depressed. She saw how the young women sat day after day on their doorsteps, pining for their fiancés and she vowed she would never let that happen to her. The pain of losing her mother still lingered and her father's departure just added to that. She wasn't going to add heartbreak to her list when she grew older. So the mask now sealed her heart away. She promised herself she wasn't going to fall in love until the war was over. She didn't want to end up like all the older women in her tribe and she couldn't risk falling in love anyway when being without her parents hurt so much.

But after she met Aang, there were instances, small intervals, where the mask seemed completely ineffective. She found herself falling for the young airbender, far too much for her own liking. Sometimes, she wondered if her mask was worth keeping at all, but once they reached the North Pole, she felt stupid for even questioning the idea. She saw the danger of what would happen, when she watched Sokka and Yue. She wasn't sure if her heart could withstand something like that or if it could stand the pain. After Zuko had taken Aang away, she hid her feelings as always. She disguised the truth so cleverly she fooled herself into thinking she felt nothing towards the young Avatar. She was just worried about him. He was her best friend after all.

The mask stayed on after that. Even when General Fong used her to force Aang into the Avatar state, it was on. After all, it wouldn't do for Sokka and Aang to see how worried she had been. When Aang was tried for murder in the village of Chin, it was on. If she had taken it off, shown them how terrified she was of the village's flawed justice system, it would have worried them and she couldn't worry them. She was, after all, what kept the group together. She clung to the mask in the desert. She thought it was threatening to break, though in reality it had started the moment she had freed Aang from the iceberg. At times, Katara clung to that mask for all she was worth, because without it, she felt vulnerable and afraid. She could face firebenders or Ozai himself and still not be as afraid as she was of taking off that mask.

Their experience in the desert had really chipped away at her mask. She had been tired from walking and trying to keep everyone together. When it seemed like Aang wouldn't return, she had been scared to death. But if scared to death was the term she used to describe how she felt when the airbender disappeared in the desert, nothing could describe how she felt in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se, when she had watched him fall.

Her mask had always been tough. It wasn't easy to get her to take it off, to get her to drop the façade she worked so hard to maintain. No matter what the situation was, her mask rarely came off. But on that day, it not only came off, it fell. She tried to catch it just before it shattered and fractured into pieces. But by then, it was too late. The damage had been done; she had already fallen in love, so there really had been no need for her to piece her mask back together again.

And she hadn't. During those dark hours after their failure at Ba Sing Se, she had forgotten, temporarily of course, about her mask. The only thing on her mind was Aang and whether or not he was okay and how they were going to get to safety. The minute they boarded that Fire Nation ship with her father and the others, she pieced her mask together and wore it once again. But for all that, it seemed useless because everyone seemed to notice how she felt. It was as if she wore her heart on her sleeve, as the old saying went.

The only time the mask came off, was when she was alone, healing the injured Avatar. That was the only time she didn't care whether or not the mask was on. When she was with him, she didn't have the strength to keep it on, to maintain that façade of composure. She had been tired, hurt, and scared. So scared. She couldn't lose him. And it had been on one of those nights she had kept vigil beside him that she realized what the young airbender had done to her and the mask she wore. Once, her mask had been strong; it maintained a façade so convincing that she had almost believed she was okay. But after Ba Sing Se, her mask had become fragile. Somehow or other, Aang managed to crack her mask and it was slowly breaking away along with any resolve she had of not falling in love.

The minute that façade fell in Ba Sing Se, Katara knew she was doomed. She had designed that mask to protect her, but it didn't seem to be doing a very good job. So she hadn't really bothered using it again until they went to that play on Ember Island. When she wore the mask then, it had been a reflex reaction. She had been so surprised by Aang's confession (or whatever it was) she had slipped behind her mask and told horrible lies. The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and she regretted them the instant she heard them. But it had been fear that had spoken for her then. How could she not be afraid? He was basically telling her that he loved her just days before he was supposed to fulfill his destiny. What if he never came back? So she uttered three hateful words, _I don't know_. And turned around and ran away.

She still wore the broken mask even after Ozai's defeat. She knew it was broken, but she wore it all the same because she didn't want anyone to see how worried she was. She wore it until she was alone with Aang for the first time since Ozai's defeat. She wanted to apologize for her behavior and explain, but he seemed to understand her even though she said nothing. And when they kissed, she knew she was forgiven. And suddenly, her mask broke.

She had worn that mask repeatedly for six long years. She created it after her mother's sacrifice and then redesigned it after her father left. It protected her from what she didn't want to feel and put up a façade so others wouldn't really see what she felt. But she was tired of maintaining a façade and at fourteen she was ready for love to play with her heart. After all, what could happen? Her heart was in good hands and she never needed that mask again.

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Please review! (i hope it wasn't too confusing, though my seven year old sister seemed to understand it) Thanks. :)

~Cassidy Alice


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